Making the first move is terrifying. There are so many preconceived ideas that are part of an older and outdated system where gender roles are defined in a way that has no flexibility.

So much has changed and how we view dating “roles” has evolved, so we should evolve in our action on making the first move.

Putting yourself out there may be scary and bring about a lack of confidence in you, but the potential payoff is too high to not do it.

Here are our 5 reasons on why making the first move is a step in the right direction.

1. What’s the worst that can happen?

They could say no. But they could also say yes.

2. You won’t have to wonder if they like you back anymore

Just think about it — you won’t be agonizing over the situationship and analysing every single thing that’s ever happened. You’ll be able to move forward, with them or onto something new and xciting.

But most importantly, you will know whether they like you or not, and you won’t be stuck wondering about it.

3. If you don’t make the first move someone else might

If you like someone, chances are someone else does too, and if you hesitate for too long that someone might make a move and snatch the person you like up.

4. It’s okay to ask someone else out first (even if you’re a woman)

“It’s okay to ask someone out on a first date. It’s okay to propose, too. Not only is it okay, but it’s actually advantageous.” author of Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge.

The advantages to women going after what they want aren’t even limited to dating. “Studies show that when it comes to standard types of matching—dating, hiring, school admissions, etc.—the party that initiates the match generally achieves a better outcome than the one on the receiving end,” says Birger. When it comes to dating, though, this happens because a woman who’s willing to approach someone has the option to approach her first-choice person, Birger explains. But if she waits to be pursued, that person may never even find out that she likes them. – source HelloGiggles

5. Knowing what you want makes it easier to make the first move

By knowing what you want and value in a partnership, you begin to identify what you’re looking for faster, so go into dating prepared. Knowledge is power, and the more you know about what you want, the easier it is to find it.

Unapologetically look for those qualities when dating.

If you don’t know what you want, make a list.


Making the first move can be as simple as sending the first message on Xcite, and once that’s done and dusted, and the conversation is going well, setting up a video date and when that goes well, making the move to meet up IRL.

If the person you’re chatting to shows interest, and you’re into them, it’s worth taking the leap and seeing where you end up.

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